…I got dinged on Amazon for using the phrase “sex scene” once, so, zexytime it is. Amazon has a very expansive definition as to what constitutes profanity. I got nailed for saying badass, so now I write “Badsass”. I guess it’s all in the perception, but it’s such a pain in the sass.
Can we talk about the language? Some authors will use the P word or even the C word during a zexytime scene. Some authors prefer to avoid those words. I think that either is a valid choice, depending on the context of the scene and the writing style. I’m not one of those Precious readers who will faint if the author uses the word c*ck. And sometimes, language that’s a little earthy can be extremely hot. But a scene that avoids the earthier words can be equally hot.
Certain words are the opposite of hot, though. Calling it “his manhood” or “her womanhood” takes me right out of the scene and is like fingernails on the blackboard of my soul. It’s reminiscent of the worst purple prose of 1970s and early 1980s historical romance excess. I seriously thought we stopped calling it either manhood or womanhood back in 1986. And calling it his “member”… I keep expecting someone to pop up and say “Welcome to Sam’s Club”. And as far as using the technical terms, it isn’t a textbook.
Here’s an excerpt from a conversation I had with author Nikki Dalton:
ND: …As a new author I go into major conflict mode every time I have to write a sex scene, not knowing what words the readers prefer to read. I bought a book called "Naughty Words for Nice Writers" and it lists words for various body parts, but I still wasn't sure what words readers would want for "folds". Your advice helps tremendously. I appreciate you! I just have to share this with you - One of the words the book has for the penis is "heat-seeking missle". I can just imagine the guy making "incoming missile" sounds as he hits the target!
GC: …Next time I read a zexytime scene, I’m going to be hearing the Incoming Missile sounds, or a T Minus… countdown!
ND: OMG, now you're going to make me laugh whenever I write a sex scene. T Minus... countdown. Houston, we have blastoff!!
Blastoff indeed…. Some of the zexytime scenes are pretty out of this world.
ducking.
Dad jokes aren’t just for Paranormal Romance titles.
This: "And calling it his “member”… I keep expecting someone to pop up and say “Welcome to Sam’s Club”." I am DYING. And yes, I didn't know anyone outside of writers from the 1800's still used "manhood." Sorry you got dinged for "sexytimes." My personal favorite phrase (and NEVER used in a sex scene) is "Driving the skin bus through tuna town."